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“Sunday Night Service at the Church of the Holy Oval”
My pal, the Reverend Merrill Perkins, and his teenager grandson, Austin, and I attended the evening service last Sunday night at The Church of the Holy Oval--otherwise known as the Lowes Motor Speedway. The occasion was the annual Coca Cola 600 celebration. The last time I attended the service was about ten years ago. I love NASCAR racing. However, my bad heart began to make attendance impossible for me. Now, praise the Lord, I am enough better that I am able to take my place in the pews once again.
Some things have changed since I was at a race in the past. For one thing, it now costs a lot more to attend this church than it does to go to most churches. It cost us $49 for an adult ticket. This was the cheapest ticket we could get. This may be because it was in the non-smoking, no-alcohol section. I don't have any big objection to people smoking in a huge, open-air place like that sanctuary. Especially since everyone who attends the service knows there are going to be lots of super-hot tailpipes belching out smoke and fumes all night long.
I don't object to folk having a few beers at a race. At the last race I attended, a fellow sitting beside me fought dehydration all afternoon on a very hot, sunny day. As the day wore on, I noticed him beginning to list over toward me. This was okay with me since I have noticed people, heads a-bobbing, leaning toward their neighbors on the pews many times while I was preaching. After my fellow fan had downed a six-pack--or twelve-- he began to rest his head on my shoulder. This was uncomfortable but okay with me despite the heat of the day. I did object, however, when he wet his pants. But what is a neighborly guy like me to do in a situation like this? About an hour before the fall of the checkered flag, he fell completely over and rested his snoring head on my lap. When the service ended and just before the benediction, I gently stretched him out to make him comfortable on the pew. Then I checked his pulse to make sure he was alive. As the sanctuary emptied out, I and the rest of the congregation headed home. I looked backed over my shoulder and saw him sleeping like a baby. I can understand why that fellow ought to pay more. He needed to pay for a bed, not just a seat!
Attendance is great at the Church of the Holy Oval. Most folk arrived an hour or two early even though we all had reserved seats. We are so enthusiastic, we do not want to miss any of the excitement. Once I saw a sign posted in the stairwell of a church noted for its spirited services. The sign said: “No dancing on the stairs!” I remember thinking at the time: “I hope I can live long enough to see a sign like that posted in a Methodist church!” We never have to be worried that anyone will get bored at Holy Oval. Maybe we need to caution the saints at the Oval about the danger of shouting “Amen!” while jumping atop their pews. Someone might get hurt.
As it happened, we didn't get to have a race after all. I never even saw a race car. It turned out that the entire congregation was soaked in a mass baptism! The skies opened up and the rain fell upon the just and the unjust--to cite a verse from the Bible. After about a three-hour rain delay, the High Priest from NASCAR pronounced the benediction with an announcement that they would try again to run a race the next day at noon. I didn't go back on Monday. I couldn't. I hated to have wasted $49 on a ticket. However, maybe the Lord thinks the Speedway owner needs the money more than I do. We are, after all, in this rough patch with the world economy. I've been blessed by having just enough that losing $49 is not going to sink me financially. Still, that is probably the last race I'll attend. When rain is threatening, I think I'll probably skip church like lots of regular Christians do and just stay home!
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