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“Epitaphs”
Perspective keeping is the most important life skill I know. I have learned this in 38 years in the ministry. Well-meaning church members have taught me this. I once went to a new parish assignment where on my first day on the job, I was called by a prominent member of the congregation. She phoned me at six thirty in the morning to give me a list of things she thought I should do that day. Then at ten that night she called to check and see if I had done them all. This pattern continued day by day until on the fifth day at the evening reporting time I replied no to each item on her list. I had done nothing that day that she had directed me to do. She was shocked, “Well why not?” I replied that nothing on her list of priorities that day managed to outrank anything on my list that day.
She never called me again with a “to do” list. We became the greatest of friends. She was old enough to be my mother. She and I adored each other. Years later when I gave her eulogy, I spoke as lovingly as ever I had at any of the more than 700 funerals I have conducted during my ministry. She unwittingly taught me to keep things in perspective and to set priorities.
An anonymous wise person recommends the “epitaph test” as a way of maintaining perspective in a world filled with pressures, choices, dangers, challenges and opportunities. When faced with a tough nut to crack, ask: “Is it important enough to be chiseled on my tombstone when I die?” If the answer is yes, think it through carefully, then get busy and do something about it.
Wouldn’t it be awful if you had this carved on your stone: “Here lies Jack. On Thanksgiving Day he dropped a leg of turkey in the lap of his father-in-law. May he rest in peace.”
Most of us learn what matters most as we grow older. Aging and experience makes getting and keeping perspective easier. Here are a few insights from some old geezers like me. (1.) I started out with nothing and I still have most of it. (2.) It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere. (3.) If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
My friend Martha Hudson Springs wrote some random thoughts upon turning 87 years old: “Buy a season ticket? I don’t even buy green bananas. My bridge partners are special. We can laugh with each other over our silly mistakes. I still have some friends who don’t seem to mind repeating what they say when I don’t hear. There are some advantages in being deaf. I don’t hear all the noises from the apartment above me. I think twice before getting up from a chair. Is getting up really necessary? It is a major accomplishment when I can make up my bed without getting into it. I thank God for my life. I thank Him that I can laugh. I thank Him for the love that surrounds me from my wonderful family and friends.”
Martha’s a few years older now but still keeping things in proper perspective. This is the most important skill in life. It’s a spiritual discipline that helps people of religious faith avoid the heresy of underestimating God.
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