|
“Ming is dead!”
As you dear readers know, the motto of this blessed blurb is: “A bit of what's southern, fried, or preachy and more or less fit to print.” My topic today is none of that although maybe by the time I get to the end, I will have figured some rationale for writing it.
I am writing today about the recent demise of Ming, the oldest living animal in the world. Ming was named after the Chinese Ming dynasty which was in power when he was born. British scientists calculate he was between 405 and 410 years old. He looked to be in perfect health when he suddenly died. I am piecing together details from The Times in the UK, a picture emerges. Ming is an ocean quahog clam who had been dredged up by scientists from the seabed north of Iceland. There were 3,000 empty shells and 34 live mollusks including Ming. The researchers were studying variations in the ocean by examining the shells which have growth rings like trees.
Well, to make a long story short, one of those lab-coated curiosity-seekers whacked open Ming's shell to count the growth layers, the rings. That, of course, was the end of Ming as we knew and loved him. By the time the rings were counted and it was discovered he was the longest-lived animal ever discovered, Ming was long gone. One can only speculate about his final disposition. My guess is that he was southern-fried and interred on a seafood buffet in the lab's cafeteria. I say, it's a clammed shame!
His name Ming was applied posthumously. I figure it was a guilt-laden effort by his killer to confer some kind of feeble honor on him. He was a little fellow--less than 3.5 inches across. He never ate much. He only ate in the summertime when plankton was plentiful. Think of it, he had nothing but plankton to eat for 405 years and the last meal before his execution was…him! His Creator can't have been happy about that!
Now a British charity, Help the Aged, has awarded a big chunk of money to underwrite research into how this Methuslaic mollusk managed to survive so long in that Icelandic water. Maybe clues to longer life for humans can be found there. Gerontologist Richard Faragher of Brighton University says that we need to find out how the clam retains muscle strength and its nervous system for such a long time. The clam also stays cancer-free. The doctor says its longevity may be partly due to the fact it laid around doing nothing for more than four centuries. That would be a pretty boring life. The scientists opine that Ming's reproductive life was spent. I should think that would be true after 405 years submerged in ice water. But how could they know that since they never had a chance to talk to him about it? After all, one of those geniuses fried and ate him!
Well, folks, I don't know what this has to do with southern-friedness or preaching except maybe it can be turned into a sermonette on living a long life. Point one: live in deep ice-water all your life. Two: keep your mouth shut except when you want to eat. Three: eat only plankton and then only in the summertime. We've all heard the comment “Happy as a clam.” We need to modify that now to say “Happy as a clam so long as there are no hungry scientists nearby!”
|
