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“Punny Fun”
I love funny puns. I have learned that many readers of this blessed blurb also enjoy witty wordplay. So, today's mirthful meditation is devoted to a few ticklers that Debi Nelson sent me and some I remember from the past. You have my permission to groan as much as you wish. Her first one is for English literature buffs with an interest in mathematics: “The roundest knight at the round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.” This is one in that class of puns that requires a person to read it in order to get it. Another of that type is: “Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.” Now, don't go reading this kind of pun to your Sunday School class. They won't get the point unless they can see it. 'Course they may not understand the one about sex anyway.
Her third one is for you historians out there: “A grenade thrown into a French kitchen will result in Linoleum Blownapart.” Now, this one requires broad historical knowledge that cannot be assumed on the part of young folk anymore. The only things French that some of today's kids know are fries. Napoleon is only a fabulous French dessert to some gourmands. Linoleum is mostly found on the floor in great grandma's kitchen. And Bonaparte blownapart is a real blast from the past!
Since, thanks to Sarah Palin, we in the South have recently become much more aware of Alaska, here's one with an Alaskan theme: “He thought he saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.”
Lots of neat puns touch on religion. They naturally appeal to me. Here's one: “The rabbi threw a hissy fit. It was a temple tantrum.” Now, I don't know if rabbis throw hissy fits or not. I looked up “hissy fit” in some dictionaries and found that, according to some, it's something of a southern, sexist term referring to females throwing tantrums. I think I've seen as many men as women display hissificated outbursts. And of course, there are lots of southern rabbis and there are lots of female rabbis. I especially like “temple tantrums.” I think that must be somewhat like “Christian conniptions” that I've sometimes observed among people in churches. I may throw one myself before I die. People who throw them seem to get considerable pleasure out of them.
This next one is a word of warning: “Neglect to pay your exorcist and you will be repossessed.” I don't know much about the practice of exorcism. However, for some reason this one reminds me of the old line that Beethoven spent his earthly life writing beautiful music and after his death, he spent the rest of eternity decomposing.
“A tangled bell ringer tolled himself off.” The moral of this one is: Don't get tangled up in the bell tower. Did you hear about the burglar who broke into the church and climbed up into the bell tower? He lost his balance and grabbed the rope. This caused the bell to swing at him, strike him in the head and knock him out of the tower. Tragically, he died in the fall. The police called on the priest to look at the unfortunate fellow in hopes of identifying him. The pastor said, “No, I don't know him but his face does ring a bell.”
You know, you get started with these things and you can go on forever. That's the good thing when you're having a boring day. The better thing is, today I'm stopping right here. So, let the groaning cease and the cheers begin! That's all folks!
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